Have you been struggling with pain for years, either emotional or physical? Have you tried so many things which did not work for you, that you now gave up the hope it can get any better? Do you tell yourself now: ‘what’s the point, it won’t work anyway?’ It is understandable that after many disappointments one may feel hopeless and defeated. But if you give up on trying, what will ever change?
If you reflect on what’s worse for you ‘to continue living for the rest if your life in the hell pain keeps you in?’ OR ‘keep trying even if you may get disappointed a few times, until you find something that works for you and which can make your life better?’ What is the choice you are going to make?
Is your pain worse when you are in a bad mood or stressed? Why do you think that is? Do you think it is your pain suddenly increasing or it may be your perception of it? Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It is as real as it gets, as whatever you perceive is what you feel. But what if you could change your perception of pain? If your pain is triggered or influenced/increased by negative emotions, that means it is also influenced/ decreased by positive emotions.
Did you ever notice that your experience of pain is decreased when you’re having a good time, when maybe your mind is distracted from pain and when your body is flooded with happy hormones released as a result of laughter, love and joy? And yes, there might have been many times when the pain distracted you from enjoying yourself, but if you’re completely honest with yourself, does that always happen?
You see, what I’ve discovered in myself and whilst working with my clients in pain, is that there seems to be a tendency to overgeneralise. And often we’re not even aware we’re doing it! And that happens because your brain can only process a limited amount of information at any given time so it has to make overgeneralisations in an attempt to help you process quicker and to keep you safe (see the ‘Bottleneck Theory of Attention and Perception’ for more info). Do you tend to use words such as always and never? Then your mind becomes focused on the pain, this is all it can see and all those things you can’t do, the things that don’t work. And this is all at the cost of overseeing those things that do work, that maybe we are unknowingly taking for granted sometimes. And if you’ve been in pain for a while, your mind learned this pattern so well that it now has got stuck in it. It became automatic. Is that because you have absolutely nothing to be happy about? To be grateful for?
Take a good look at your life and think about it. Nothing exists in a void. You can’t see black without white. Give yourself a few minutes and find one thing you feel really grateful for. At least one thing. And really feel it in your heart. Feel the nice fuzzy sensation it may bring you. Did it also bring you a smile and did it make the pain somewhat more bearable? Now take a deep breath, breath into that area that holds your pain, try and understand the role of that pain, and now breath out and slowly start to let it go.
If you’ve enjoyed reading this blog and you felt it has helped you in a smaller or bigger way, do let me know your thoughts. If you need some therapeutic help with pain, contact me and book a session. Or contact someone who you think may help you. Just don’t give up trying! There are ways for you to enjoy and live a happier life.
And come to our free workshop where we are sharing different techniques to manage pain (check the workshops page on my website to register).
To your happiness,